I still get people asking me "Are you okay?" and some people who wanted to ask but didnt want to because they were afraid that they would hurt my feelings. Most of my friends tried hard to care for my feelings by not mentioning my ex's name and not asking about it. Actually I'm pretty okay with it. I can see from their faces of trying to talk me out. You're free to ask. I was hurt and I am healing. Learning.
I had lived to move on and I realized that I could move on very fast by just making myself busy, thinking about other people who were there for me and just doing nothing concerning what hurts me until the right one appears. Right one....long way to go. I believe I had fallen in love but because he wasnt ready, I wanted to give up. Time tells me not to stop trying because he might be the one. Life is short. You'll never know when the time for you is up. What if I'm meant to die tonight? Tomorrow morning? Few days to come? God knows. I do not want to regret but love is meant for 2 people. If one moves and the other doesnt, it comes to the same - nothing.
Ill put this thing aside for a moment. Taking my time to forget. That's the things I'm good at. Forgetting. Things that doesnt concern me, Ill forget in just a few minutes. Things that concern me would take a couple of months approximately. I guess with Ravina around, its not problem to forget even faster. I'm trying hard though. Everything that concerns the heart would come to one word - hurt. Whatever it is, I will get hurt even over small things. All I can say is " I'm okay. Don't worry." Works all the time. I can heal up quick by just making myself busy, focusing on other more important things.
If you know that you will die tomorrow, I'm sure you'll do all kinds of things that makes you happy like travel the few countries that you like, do something illegal, get yourself in trouble and etc. For me, I think whats more important is gathering a few friends together with family and enjoy every moment together. That way there would be no regrets at all. Just to let your family and friends be prepared when you leave. They would be smiling to the sky instead of crying at your coffin. They will let you go at ease. They will have no regrets too because they had had the time with you at your very last moment of life.
Moving on is a process of leaving the past behind and focus whats more important upfront. Regretting is not in my dictionary. I dont regret for the things I've done. Ill just make it right for the mistake I made or if its not worth it, dont do anything. I never asked for things to go the way I wanted. I just HOPE to have the way I wanted but its okay even if it didnt. We only live once...just do it right? It doesnt have to be perfect, as long as we're happy.
Thats about it. I'm damn lazy. Just that this morning I got nothing to do so here I decided to blog. If not, I wouldnt. Bye.
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